Terry Forster
THE SHOP LIFTER
She was called Kelly the Welly behind her back, no one would think of calling her that name to her face though. A six foot two woman built like a wrestler with long mousy blond hair that reached down to her enormous waist. She had never been seen in shoes or a dress, hence the name KELLY The WELLY as she always wore long black Wellington boots, the industrial type with the steel toe caps.
Kelly was ruthless in running her business, be late on the job and you were fined an hours free work, any backlash from employees regarding their free hours work and they would be looking for a new job with a black eye.
Her husband Freddy was twelve inches shorter than Kelly, a nice man, a gentle man and he loved Kelly with all his heart and soul. 32 years of marriage had not subsided in any way whatsoever concerning his love and admiration for her one little bit. He always called her his Princess, even in front of the staff and customers. It didn't even bother Freddy that his wife had a seven inch blue scar on her right cheek from a rouge car accident ten years ago.
Their business was scrap, scrap cars, caravans etc., there was even part of a small aeroplane in the yard and a gun turret from a tank from the second world war. It was all money in the bank as far as Kelly was concerned and the steel foundry 12 miles away, collected what they needed every week or so. Sometimes she would move peoples furniture if they were moving house when business was slow along with other small jobs for the council like collecting old furniture, ovens, washing machines and the like and putting them in her scrap yard, for price of course. Lots of people came looking everyday for spare parts for cars. A seat, an Engine, second hand tyres, a broken wing mirror and so on.
It was a Wednesday morning when Tim and Jenny drove into the scrap yard and were greeted by Kelly. They were old friends from far back in time and were always welcome at the yard or at Kelly's home. The coffee pot was always in use throughout the day in her office and with the door closed the conversation began once the niceties were completed.
“You know we have the small shop at the end of Wallace Street” said Tim. “Well, the council say we have to get rid of it, knock it down they said and remove the rubbish and all at your own cost. We have been there for almost thirty years, might even be longer than that and we are open all hours. People rely on us as the big supermarkets are miles away and the bus rout to the supermarkets isn’t exactly what yo might call, “Available.”
We were wondering if you, with your council contacts could have a word with them, explain what our shop means to the people living in this area and to hopefully change their minds.”
Kelly thought for some time whilst taking sips of coffee from her large coffee cup and rattling her fingers on her desk top.
“I can try and speak to someone I know at the council but, knowing the council as I do I doubt very much that I could change their minds. I don’t even think a bribe would would even work but if it did work it would be very costly indeed. Leave it with me for a while, I will see what I can do but I am sure they will never change their minds.”
Tim and Jenny knew Kelly would do her best to help them but, they realised it would be almost impossible to change the council's decision.
Kelly spent the next few days speaking to council people she knew but they were all adamant that the shop had to be removed or they would demolish it themselves and charge the owners for the demolition.
A few nights later Kelly awoke from her sleep with a sudden start in the middle of the night. She awoke so suddenly that poor Freddy almost fell out of bed.
“What in hell's name is going on” he cried out in fright.”
“Its all right my pet” she said as she grabbed hold of Freddy's pyjama bottoms and pulled him back into bed. “I have just had a bad dream that's all, in fact it could possibly turn out to be a good dream when I come to think about it. She kissed Freddy lovingly on his cheek'"
“You go back to sleep my pet. I am going downstairs as I have thought of an idea that could possibly help Tim and Jenny with their shop.”
It was almost 10:30 am when Kelly arrived at Tim and Jenny's shop and explained what she had in mind. It would be a daring escapade and all the streets around the area that depended on the shop would have to be notified to stop any kind of Panic.
Thursday late evening, the day before the council would arrive to demolish the shop Kelly was busy with her tape measure. It was the length and width of the wooden building she was concerned with as adjustments would have to be made.
Andy her welder along with Mike and Tim would start work as soon as Kelly arrived back at the scrap yard with all the measurements. Kelly had explained to them what she had in mind and for them to obtain the materials she need from the yard and to gather them together in an open space and they would be working throughout the night to complete her task.
Friday morning arrived with pelting down rain when the council arrived with all their equipment to demolish the shop, but, there was no shop there to demolish.
Andrew, the council lead hand phoned his office to make sure they were in the right place.
“You can't miss it, its a wooden building right on the end of GEORGE STREET.” was the reply.
“That’s where we are right now, on George Street but there is no signs of any wooden shop here or has ever been.”
“Are you sure we are in the right George Street, is there another street in this area called George Street.”
“That is the only George street in this county, there is a wooden shop at the end of it and it has to be demolished. Have you looked at both ends of the street, you might be at the wrong end.”
“I am not stupid, yes I have looked at both ends of the street and there is no wooden shop at either end.” Andrew screamed down the phone.
“I am coming out there to see for myself.” was the last reply and Andrew heard the clash of the phone handset as it was clashed into the phone unit.”
“Thank you Kelly” said Tim. Everyone now knows our little shop is standing there safely moved into your crap yard, and thank you for obtaining the licence to trade in your yard from your friend at the council. I wonder what is happening right now where our shop used to be.” They all laughed and a bottle of champagne was opened to celebrate their victory.
Back at the end of George Street the senior supervisor arrived in one hell of a mood.
“So, where is the shop, have you demolished it already, I don't see any wagons full of wood anywhere.”
“No there wouldn't be any wagons full of wood as there was no wooden shop to load onto the wagons. It was like this as you see it now, there is no shop at either end of this street.”
“Are you telling me the shop has been shoplifted.” he scowled.
“Well I guess you have hit the nail on the head there boss.” was the reply.
Kelly's very extra large heavyweight forklift had its forks extended and widened to Kelly's measurements during the long night. Large weights of several car and three tractor engine had been added to the rear end of the forklift to balance it against the weight of the shop with all its contents. Kelly had guessed correctly as the shop was lifted in one piece and slowly transferred to her scrap yard with ease.
It was almost mid day before the first customers arrived to do their shopping at the scrap yard. The shop was now in a more convenient place for the local residents everyone said.
Shoplifting was now something Kelly could add to her accomplishments should she ever have to shoplift in the future.
1,458 Words
THE SHOP LIFTER
She was called Kelly the Welly behind her back, no one would think of calling her that name to her face though. A six foot two woman built like a wrestler with long mousy blond hair that reached down to her enormous waist. She had never been seen in shoes or a dress, hence the name KELLY The WELLY as she always wore long black Wellington boots, the industrial type with the steel toe caps.
Kelly was ruthless in running her business, be late on the job and you were fined an hours free work, any backlash from employees regarding their free hours work and they would be looking for a new job with a black eye.
Her husband Freddy was twelve inches shorter than Kelly, a nice man, a gentle man and he loved Kelly with all his heart and soul. 32 years of marriage had not subsided in any way whatsoever concerning his love and admiration for her one little bit. He always called her his Princess, even in front of the staff and customers. It didn't even bother Freddy that his wife had a seven inch blue scar on her right cheek from a rouge car accident ten years ago.
Their business was scrap, scrap cars, caravans etc., there was even part of a small aeroplane in the yard and a gun turret from a tank from the second world war. It was all money in the bank as far as Kelly was concerned and the steel foundry 12 miles away, collected what they needed every week or so. Sometimes she would move peoples furniture if they were moving house when business was slow along with other small jobs for the council like collecting old furniture, ovens, washing machines and the like and putting them in her scrap yard, for price of course. Lots of people came looking everyday for spare parts for cars. A seat, an Engine, second hand tyres, a broken wing mirror and so on.
It was a Wednesday morning when Tim and Jenny drove into the scrap yard and were greeted by Kelly. They were old friends from far back in time and were always welcome at the yard or at Kelly's home. The coffee pot was always in use throughout the day in her office and with the door closed the conversation began once the niceties were completed.
“You know we have the small shop at the end of Wallace Street” said Tim. “Well, the council say we have to get rid of it, knock it down they said and remove the rubbish and all at your own cost. We have been there for almost thirty years, might even be longer than that and we are open all hours. People rely on us as the big supermarkets are miles away and the bus rout to the supermarkets isn’t exactly what yo might call, “Available.”
We were wondering if you, with your council contacts could have a word with them, explain what our shop means to the people living in this area and to hopefully change their minds.”
Kelly thought for some time whilst taking sips of coffee from her large coffee cup and rattling her fingers on her desk top.
“I can try and speak to someone I know at the council but, knowing the council as I do I doubt very much that I could change their minds. I don’t even think a bribe would would even work but if it did work it would be very costly indeed. Leave it with me for a while, I will see what I can do but I am sure they will never change their minds.”
Tim and Jenny knew Kelly would do her best to help them but, they realised it would be almost impossible to change the council's decision.
Kelly spent the next few days speaking to council people she knew but they were all adamant that the shop had to be removed or they would demolish it themselves and charge the owners for the demolition.
A few nights later Kelly awoke from her sleep with a sudden start in the middle of the night. She awoke so suddenly that poor Freddy almost fell out of bed.
“What in hell's name is going on” he cried out in fright.”
“Its all right my pet” she said as she grabbed hold of Freddy's pyjama bottoms and pulled him back into bed. “I have just had a bad dream that's all, in fact it could possibly turn out to be a good dream when I come to think about it. She kissed Freddy lovingly on his cheek'"
“You go back to sleep my pet. I am going downstairs as I have thought of an idea that could possibly help Tim and Jenny with their shop.”
It was almost 10:30 am when Kelly arrived at Tim and Jenny's shop and explained what she had in mind. It would be a daring escapade and all the streets around the area that depended on the shop would have to be notified to stop any kind of Panic.
Thursday late evening, the day before the council would arrive to demolish the shop Kelly was busy with her tape measure. It was the length and width of the wooden building she was concerned with as adjustments would have to be made.
Andy her welder along with Mike and Tim would start work as soon as Kelly arrived back at the scrap yard with all the measurements. Kelly had explained to them what she had in mind and for them to obtain the materials she need from the yard and to gather them together in an open space and they would be working throughout the night to complete her task.
Friday morning arrived with pelting down rain when the council arrived with all their equipment to demolish the shop, but, there was no shop there to demolish.
Andrew, the council lead hand phoned his office to make sure they were in the right place.
“You can't miss it, its a wooden building right on the end of GEORGE STREET.” was the reply.
“That’s where we are right now, on George Street but there is no signs of any wooden shop here or has ever been.”
“Are you sure we are in the right George Street, is there another street in this area called George Street.”
“That is the only George street in this county, there is a wooden shop at the end of it and it has to be demolished. Have you looked at both ends of the street, you might be at the wrong end.”
“I am not stupid, yes I have looked at both ends of the street and there is no wooden shop at either end.” Andrew screamed down the phone.
“I am coming out there to see for myself.” was the last reply and Andrew heard the clash of the phone handset as it was clashed into the phone unit.”
“Thank you Kelly” said Tim. Everyone now knows our little shop is standing there safely moved into your crap yard, and thank you for obtaining the licence to trade in your yard from your friend at the council. I wonder what is happening right now where our shop used to be.” They all laughed and a bottle of champagne was opened to celebrate their victory.
Back at the end of George Street the senior supervisor arrived in one hell of a mood.
“So, where is the shop, have you demolished it already, I don't see any wagons full of wood anywhere.”
“No there wouldn't be any wagons full of wood as there was no wooden shop to load onto the wagons. It was like this as you see it now, there is no shop at either end of this street.”
“Are you telling me the shop has been shoplifted.” he scowled.
“Well I guess you have hit the nail on the head there boss.” was the reply.
Kelly's very extra large heavyweight forklift had its forks extended and widened to Kelly's measurements during the long night. Large weights of several car and three tractor engine had been added to the rear end of the forklift to balance it against the weight of the shop with all its contents. Kelly had guessed correctly as the shop was lifted in one piece and slowly transferred to her scrap yard with ease.
It was almost mid day before the first customers arrived to do their shopping at the scrap yard. The shop was now in a more convenient place for the local residents everyone said.
Shoplifting was now something Kelly could add to her accomplishments should she ever have to shoplift in the future.
1,458 Words