Maria Barrell
A Dream, Night Nurse
It is a dream that recurs frequently. It is a true story, firmly embedded in my mind. This story is as clear to me now as the day it happened, almost 35 years. I do not need a dream to remind me, my memory remains clear
My dream is my story and I will tell it too you now. I will leave it to you, my dear reader to determine its meaning.
“Nurse can you help me with this crossword clue”
“What is it Bob” I said
“Two words, both five letters. The clue is Angel of Death”
Without hesitation or deviation I responded, “Night Nurse”
Bob said nothing, he nodded, smiled, filled in the clue, then put his newspaper and pen back on the bedside table. He stood, looked directly at me, then he fell. He was dead before he hit the floor.
I was working as a staff nurse on the Coronary Care Unit. It was 1981, I was twenty three. I had worked on the unit for two years, since qualification as a State Registered Nurse. In those few years I had learned a great deal regarding conditions of the heart. For those patients who survived and recounted their experience, the physical pain of a heart attack was like no other pain, it was the pain of death. In addition came the emotional and psychological problems, which not only effected the patient but also relatives, friends and staff. We all require care for the affairs of the heart; whether it be the acute physical care of a heart attack or the chronic long term care, coming to terms with the loss of a loved one.
Bob Tuner had been transferred to the Coronary Care Unit two weeks previously, following a cardiac arrest. Initially, he was admitted to the Accident and Emergency Department with central chest pain, it was during admission that he had a cardiac arrest which actually increased his chances of survival significantly. Bob was resuscitated then transferred to the Coronary Care Unit for specialist care. There was a history of heart problems, Bob was well known to the Department. The heart muscle was severely damaged but Bob made good progress whilst on the Unit. After gentle mobilisation he was ready for home after two weeks.
Bob was fifty nine years old. He lived with his wife Barbara and had two married sons and three grandchildren. Barbara was devoted to Bob, she visited every afternoon and evening. They were such a happy couple, still very much in love, unassuming and content in their own company. I had go to know Bob and Barbara well. Bob accepted his heart condition and the prognosis which his consultant cardiologist had discussed with him. He knew he was lucky to have survived, he was living on borrowed time. He wanted to go home to be with Barbara. Whilst Bob was resigned to his condition I recognized the fear in Barbara’s eyes.
On that fateful morning I was preparing Bob for discharge. He was up out of bed and dressed. I had packed his clothes. It was 10.30 am. There was an air of anticipation on the Unit. Bob was going home and he was happy. Barbara was coming at 11 a.m. to collect him. I had just finished making a bed in the ward and was about to organise the mid-morning hot drinks when Bob asked me the crossword question.
As Bob fell I ran to him, at the same time, pressing the emergency bell. Within two minutes Bob was flat on the floor and resuscitation had commenced. I watched the clock. At 10.50 a.m. Bob was pronounced dead just as Barbara rang the ward bell announcing her arrival. I walked to the end of the ward and open the outer door for Barbara. She looked a little nervous, smiled and then stopped as I took her arm.
I knew she knew. I led her into the room that was used for such an occasion. As she sat she began to shake, I held her hand firmly. The Doctor came into the room to join us and explained that Bob had suffered a serious heart attack, the team had tried their best but Bob’s heart did not recover. The Doctor was very kind, expressing his condolences. Barbara managed to thank him for all he and the staff had done.
He left us. She cried.
This is my dream, dear reader, my story,
A Dream, Night Nurse
It is a dream that recurs frequently. It is a true story, firmly embedded in my mind. This story is as clear to me now as the day it happened, almost 35 years. I do not need a dream to remind me, my memory remains clear
My dream is my story and I will tell it too you now. I will leave it to you, my dear reader to determine its meaning.
“Nurse can you help me with this crossword clue”
“What is it Bob” I said
“Two words, both five letters. The clue is Angel of Death”
Without hesitation or deviation I responded, “Night Nurse”
Bob said nothing, he nodded, smiled, filled in the clue, then put his newspaper and pen back on the bedside table. He stood, looked directly at me, then he fell. He was dead before he hit the floor.
I was working as a staff nurse on the Coronary Care Unit. It was 1981, I was twenty three. I had worked on the unit for two years, since qualification as a State Registered Nurse. In those few years I had learned a great deal regarding conditions of the heart. For those patients who survived and recounted their experience, the physical pain of a heart attack was like no other pain, it was the pain of death. In addition came the emotional and psychological problems, which not only effected the patient but also relatives, friends and staff. We all require care for the affairs of the heart; whether it be the acute physical care of a heart attack or the chronic long term care, coming to terms with the loss of a loved one.
Bob Tuner had been transferred to the Coronary Care Unit two weeks previously, following a cardiac arrest. Initially, he was admitted to the Accident and Emergency Department with central chest pain, it was during admission that he had a cardiac arrest which actually increased his chances of survival significantly. Bob was resuscitated then transferred to the Coronary Care Unit for specialist care. There was a history of heart problems, Bob was well known to the Department. The heart muscle was severely damaged but Bob made good progress whilst on the Unit. After gentle mobilisation he was ready for home after two weeks.
Bob was fifty nine years old. He lived with his wife Barbara and had two married sons and three grandchildren. Barbara was devoted to Bob, she visited every afternoon and evening. They were such a happy couple, still very much in love, unassuming and content in their own company. I had go to know Bob and Barbara well. Bob accepted his heart condition and the prognosis which his consultant cardiologist had discussed with him. He knew he was lucky to have survived, he was living on borrowed time. He wanted to go home to be with Barbara. Whilst Bob was resigned to his condition I recognized the fear in Barbara’s eyes.
On that fateful morning I was preparing Bob for discharge. He was up out of bed and dressed. I had packed his clothes. It was 10.30 am. There was an air of anticipation on the Unit. Bob was going home and he was happy. Barbara was coming at 11 a.m. to collect him. I had just finished making a bed in the ward and was about to organise the mid-morning hot drinks when Bob asked me the crossword question.
As Bob fell I ran to him, at the same time, pressing the emergency bell. Within two minutes Bob was flat on the floor and resuscitation had commenced. I watched the clock. At 10.50 a.m. Bob was pronounced dead just as Barbara rang the ward bell announcing her arrival. I walked to the end of the ward and open the outer door for Barbara. She looked a little nervous, smiled and then stopped as I took her arm.
I knew she knew. I led her into the room that was used for such an occasion. As she sat she began to shake, I held her hand firmly. The Doctor came into the room to join us and explained that Bob had suffered a serious heart attack, the team had tried their best but Bob’s heart did not recover. The Doctor was very kind, expressing his condolences. Barbara managed to thank him for all he and the staff had done.
He left us. She cried.
This is my dream, dear reader, my story,