My War: The Monster Inside
Maria Barrell
8th October 1942 Arras Northern France.
Dear Mam,
You remember John. He was my best friend. You made him his tea. You said he was a nice lad. All through school we stuck together. Apprentices together. So lucky to be taken on at Matthews, they were cutting down on Apprenticeships because of the war, but we were lucky, always lucky we were, me and John.
You said he was a nice lad. Two peas in a pod you said. You were pleased we were called up together. We joined the DLI (Durham Light Infantry). Just 18 years old in 1942, both of us born within two months of each other. You knew we would watch out for each other. You said he was a nice lad Mam and you were right. You said we would be Ok as long as we stuck together.
After initial training camp we set out for France in a landing craft. We crossed the Channel, landed on a beach just south of Calais. There were thousands of us Mam, but we stuck together, me and John. We were told to push on towards Arras, trying to push the Germans back. Watching, waiting , marching, keeping safe Mam that’s what we did, keeping safe.
John is dead Mam. Did I tell you John is dead? I can still see his face every minute of the day, I can still see his bloody face. It is changing shape Mam, his face. I do not recognise him anymore. He has become a monster now Mam, he is inside of me, he is a monster inside of me. But you said he was a nice lad.
Those Germans knew what they were doing, the aircraft they used were the Messerschmitt Me 262, a Fighter Air Craft like we had never seen before. So fast, so powerful. They hunted us down Mam, we never saw them coming until it was to late. We heard the rat tat tat and all ran for cover, falling to the ground, rat a tat tat, rat a tat tat Mam. Then it was quiet. I looked up, I was Ok, so were lots of lads.
Time to get up and get marching. I spotted John still lying, so I shouted “come on John”. He did not move Mam so I kept on shouting “come on John, we need to get out”.
I did not want to go over but I ran to him Mam as fast as I could. He was in a bad way Mam, I only remember his face. His eyes were open, wide open. I held his hand Mam it was still warm. I covered him and waited with him, not talking just waiting. Such a nice lad Mam, two peas in a pod. I had to leave him there, they told me to leave him, they would look after him. I had to leave him Mam.
I do not know how long it is been, days just go by, turn into weeks and months. I keep marching, keeping safe, with the other lads, doing my bit for King and country. John is dead but he is still with me, he is part of me. He talks to me, but when I see him I am frightened Mam. He tells me what to do but I cannot look at his face Mam, his bloody face.
We were only 18. You said he was a nice lad. Two peas in a pod you said. We stuck together.
I want to come home Mam.
Love
Harry
Maria Barrell
8th October 1942 Arras Northern France.
Dear Mam,
You remember John. He was my best friend. You made him his tea. You said he was a nice lad. All through school we stuck together. Apprentices together. So lucky to be taken on at Matthews, they were cutting down on Apprenticeships because of the war, but we were lucky, always lucky we were, me and John.
You said he was a nice lad. Two peas in a pod you said. You were pleased we were called up together. We joined the DLI (Durham Light Infantry). Just 18 years old in 1942, both of us born within two months of each other. You knew we would watch out for each other. You said he was a nice lad Mam and you were right. You said we would be Ok as long as we stuck together.
After initial training camp we set out for France in a landing craft. We crossed the Channel, landed on a beach just south of Calais. There were thousands of us Mam, but we stuck together, me and John. We were told to push on towards Arras, trying to push the Germans back. Watching, waiting , marching, keeping safe Mam that’s what we did, keeping safe.
John is dead Mam. Did I tell you John is dead? I can still see his face every minute of the day, I can still see his bloody face. It is changing shape Mam, his face. I do not recognise him anymore. He has become a monster now Mam, he is inside of me, he is a monster inside of me. But you said he was a nice lad.
Those Germans knew what they were doing, the aircraft they used were the Messerschmitt Me 262, a Fighter Air Craft like we had never seen before. So fast, so powerful. They hunted us down Mam, we never saw them coming until it was to late. We heard the rat tat tat and all ran for cover, falling to the ground, rat a tat tat, rat a tat tat Mam. Then it was quiet. I looked up, I was Ok, so were lots of lads.
Time to get up and get marching. I spotted John still lying, so I shouted “come on John”. He did not move Mam so I kept on shouting “come on John, we need to get out”.
I did not want to go over but I ran to him Mam as fast as I could. He was in a bad way Mam, I only remember his face. His eyes were open, wide open. I held his hand Mam it was still warm. I covered him and waited with him, not talking just waiting. Such a nice lad Mam, two peas in a pod. I had to leave him there, they told me to leave him, they would look after him. I had to leave him Mam.
I do not know how long it is been, days just go by, turn into weeks and months. I keep marching, keeping safe, with the other lads, doing my bit for King and country. John is dead but he is still with me, he is part of me. He talks to me, but when I see him I am frightened Mam. He tells me what to do but I cannot look at his face Mam, his bloody face.
We were only 18. You said he was a nice lad. Two peas in a pod you said. We stuck together.
I want to come home Mam.
Love
Harry