Pain and Shame....By-Jennifer McBride
I am the broken tin soldier. I have seen my share of battles.
I wear my scars as I must, but the pain you see does not lie just where it should.
They are watching, the doctors, and the nurses.
They've taken samples, seen their scans, only to frown.
There's nothing wrong with your leg it's all in your head.
My injury disproved again and again but still prevails my pain. Above their thoughts of broken bones and torn muscles they think me inane, but their words about pain being in my head I deny.
My pain you see comes not from my head but from my heart.
The shame of failure boiled down to a gripping agony, all twisted like barbs in my knee.
Lives I could not save, the could ofs and should ofs dragging me as though skeleton fingers clutched at me.
The weight of grieving incomplete families resting coldly against my battered shoulders.
They say I was a good soldier, that I was given a medal for goodness sake. Stand tall and get on that leg.
But the shame swirls as pain and the limp stays.
Those that know mock, they treat me like a laughing stock.
You're acting half dead, stop being a fool and get on that leg.
I think they're right a fool I am, for I no longer have any dignity.
Only shame only pain.